I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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