Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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