my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
