the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
There are leaves in my underwear?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
