How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I love having hate sex.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
