Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
