Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
