I got chris browned last night
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize