So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
