i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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