im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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