I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
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