You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
