You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
