So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
