My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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