i don't like sucking hair
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
