you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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