what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
