Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
