the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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