i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
