Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
