i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
