Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
