i don't plan on having that self control this summer
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Randomize
