Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
