forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
