just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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