is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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