Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
