there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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