New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
