You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize