you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
