he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
