U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i permit you to call me
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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