marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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