his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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