we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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