Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
