after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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