Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
