i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
