You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just pynch a tree in the face
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
