if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
