Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
