Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize