dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
