Will you blow on my dice?
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
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