Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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