Just fell off a train. Bad.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
