What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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