fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
My hand turned me down
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
