Non-Jews are for practice
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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