glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
