At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
