I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
