no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I need a beard to bite.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
