All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Less talking, more tequila
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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